When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize