My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My bed is full of blood and feathers
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
