There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
When are your genitals available?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
