I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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