best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
