U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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