community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
