I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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