you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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