i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
