you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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