Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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