If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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