dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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