Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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