We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
