Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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