i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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