Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
