the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize