its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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