nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
