Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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