My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
