After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
