Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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