Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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