Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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