after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
