Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
