just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
