'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
