one two three fourrrrnication!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
