I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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