So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
