See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
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