with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just gargled with NyQuil
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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