Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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