we have officially lost it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
