but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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