Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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