I'm really into asian looking animals
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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