Heybabeimwearingurpanties
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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