oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
