my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
