apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
