But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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