Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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