BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
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