On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
