apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
