do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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