I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
