I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
