Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My bed smells like the plague
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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