It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
