We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
