Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
