Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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