the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
