Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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