I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Randomize
