Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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