I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
